🌳 The Accidental Gym Thief's Stoic Lesson

What losing my keys taught me about not losing my mind

Author

Jon High
February 24, 2025 • Estimated Reading Time: 4 minutes

💭 Quote of the Week

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The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control.

Epictetus

You know that moment when everything goes sideways? Your flight gets delayed, your presentation crashes, or your kid flushes your AirPods? That's when this quote becomes your secret weapon. While most philosophers gave us theories, Epictetus handed us an off switch for unnecessary suffering.

💡 Stoic Lesson of The Week

Last Tuesday morning: There I was, dripping sweat at the gym, staring at the empty shelf where my keys should've been. My 8:30 meeting loomed, my coffee window was closing, and that familiar panic spiral started to rear it’s ugly head. (You know the one—where your brain helpfully suggests checking places you've already looked 37 times.)

Here's what the Stoics figured out that most of us miss: When something goes wrong, we actually create two problems. There's the actual problem (missing keys), and then there's the bonus problem we create with our reaction ("My whole day is ruined!" "I'm such an idiot!" "Why does the universe hate me?").

The kicker? We usually turn that second problem into the main event. Those missing keys aren't just missing keys anymore—they're proof that we're disorganized, failing at life, and probably the victim of an elaborate gym-based crime syndicate.

This is the exact moment you want to rely on Stoic insights. While external events might control your schedule, they never have to control your mind. Your keys can go missing, but your peace of mind doesn't have to follow them.

🎯 Your Action Plan

Next time you feel that panic rising, try this 3-step reset:

  1. The 5-Second Pause: "This is happening, and I can handle it." (Sounds cheesy, works like magic)

  2. The Reality Check: "What's the actual problem, and what story am I'm adding?"

  3. The 10-10-10 Rule: Will this matter in 10 minutes? 10 hours? 10 days?

Try This Now: Take your latest "everything is terrible" moment. Write down what actually happened vs. the story you created. (Warning: You might actually laugh at the difference.)

📖 Story Time

As I was approaching full meltdown status, a woman rushed up, face flushed with embarrassment. "I think I stole your keys," she said, holding up my keychain. "We have the same car and I just... grabbed them without looking." She was bracing for the explosion she thought would follow.

Here's where the Stoic practice paid off: Instead of unleashing the rage of someone who just stared at the same empty shelf for 27 mins, I laughed. In that moment of shared embarrassment, we both just smiled at how absurdly human the whole thing was. And yes, I still made my meeting (though sadly, without coffee).

The punch line? Had I chosen to lose my sh*t, I would've suffered twice and missed meeting someone cool. Often, the universe isn't plotting against you—it's just humans being human. And occasionally, they have your keys.

✍️ Journal Prompt

"When things go wrong, my default reaction is to __________."

Now write one specific way you'll catch yourself next time. (Bonus points if it makes you smile.)

🔗 Worth Your Time